By Nathan Bright
The first egg goes in beautifully. No trace of shell in the mixture at all. With my speed being matched only by artistry, I blister through the kitchen confident of a timely meal that will lead into clean-up, followed by coats, then a punctual appearance to a friend's house.
"I help," says my two year old.
Her words resonate like a movie moment demonstrating fear and confusion. "Of course you will sweetie," I say. the Dad in me knows to include her in anything I can. It builds skill, confidence, and a bond between parent and child. However, the Me in me obsesses on the clock. She'll slow me down. Dinner will be late. We'll rush out the door and be tardy, again, to our function. Again.
I let her help. Eggs explode, raw meat almost in mouth, hair stuck to counter, falls off stool, cries, help stir, help wipe floor, help stir more, wipe floor more and dear-heaven-has-the-oven-been-preheating-for-an-hour-how-much-is-the-gas-bill-going-to-be?
This scenario plays out quite often. Patience in letting them help is par for the course. By letting them help we know it'll be more work for us, but they need the experience anyway. But how does this translate into other areas?
I'm a stay-at-home-dad (by choice). Our numbers are growing. Just like any non-traditional movement there's a stigma over which we'd like to hop. The "Mr. Mom" syndrome, if you will, such as the bumbling man guy who fashions duct tape into cereal bowls. As amazing as duct tape cereal bowls would be (and completely doable!) us stay-at-home-dads don't want to be pigeon-holed into being thought of as bumbling.
I know I'm great at cooking, cleaning, kid activities, multitasking, etc., but what do others think of me? My fear is I'm viewed as the two-year old and my wife is the adult. It's thought that she lets me help only to secretly clean up my mess afterward. These situations demonstrate what would come out of a child's mouth and what folks would presume comes out of the stay-at-home-dad's mouth:
Situation: Sweeping the Floor
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "let me walk through this pile of dirt first."
Bumbling Dad says: "I'll get the leaf blower."
Situation: Laundry
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "I can fit 4 bras on my head."
Bumbling Dad says: "I can fit 6 bras on my head."
Situation: Grocery Shopping
Adult Figure and/or Wife asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "take me to the toys or I'll cry."
Bumbling Dad says: "take me to the beer or I'll cry. Did you know I can fit 6 bras on my head?"
Point being - I'm not bumbling. I'm not merely included...I'm autonomous, much the way my two-year-old soon will be. I run an excellent home for the benefit of my family. My wife trust me to be productive and make good decisions. Now if you'll excuse me I need to look into that duct tape thing. And maybe fold bras.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Inclusion Delusion
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Gift to Ric Romero
These are pictures of gift baskets by Lisa Gal at Hollywood Baskets. They were given to Ric Romero to thank him for the great story he did on OMM!
It's Our Milk Money (Even Though I'm Lactose Intolerant)
This is a post written by Jen Parker on The Smile Report:
Hey! That’s me! I’m featured in this press release!
I’m part of Our Milk Money, a community created for and features work-at-home parents, like me! OurMilkMoney.com is a great Web site that lets parents help other parents.
This is how it works: let’s say I need my house painted. Instead of “Google-ing” for painters in my area, I can first look at the OMM directory and check to see if there are any painters on the list. If there is, you bet I’m going to call them first for an estimate! Every business featured on the list is operated by a work-at-home parent, so I know I’m contributing my hard-earned money to someone who made the sacrifice to stay at home in order to raise their kids. And that makes me happy!
Friday, February 19th marks the launch of OMM’s first radio broadcast at 6pm EST. Congrats to co-founder Ally Loprete and my friends at Our Milk Money!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
This Wasn't the Path I Started Out On; It's Better.
By Ally Loprete
Thirteen years ago, I came to Los Angeles with a Bachelor's in Theatre and Film degree, stars in my eyes and a certainty that I was exactly what Hollywood was looking for. I had ten 2 minute monolgues, a mixture of classic, contemporary, comedic and dramatic, ready to go at any given time, and 12 new dialects perfected. I had 4 songs prepared for all of my musical theatre auditions, 16 bars each and the sheet music to hand to any accompanist, 2 sets of character shoes, and an attitude that wouldn't quit. I knew I was meant for something great.
I worked hard, took classes, auditioned for as many things as I could and got rejected and rejected and rejected. I kept going, only to get rejected some more.
I met and fell in love with other artists, some struggling like me, others on their way to the top. I booked some work on a soap opera, a pilot that was made but never seen, did some theatre, some student films, and a showcase or two.
I temped during the day, rehearsed for plays at night, hung out with the cast after rehearsals and crawled into bed by 1am each night. I was hired and fired from more day jobs than I could count, sent out headshots and postcards every week, and searched for inexpensive ways to see theatre on the weekends.
Looking back, those times were...romantic. I loved and hated that time. There was so much uncertainty. I didn't work as much as many of my friends did, and I remember thinking- well, now, I can't be THAT BAD.
Now that I am a stay-at-home mom, concerned about wellness checks, potty training and creative ways to cook vegetables, the life of an actor that I vaguely remember seems to have belonged to someone else. Somewhere along the way I lost the desire to perform and found a passion for giving as much of myself as I can to my children.
I did my first radio broadcast last week, This Little Parent Stayed Home, but afterwards I sat there and critiqued my own "work" the way I had done after one of my shows, or one of my auditions. Did I speak in my lower register, and use my full range? Did I push too hard or fail to miss my beats? Did my show have a beginning, middle and end, with a dramatic arc 2/3 in?
Was I funny? Interesting? Did I leave my audience wanting more?
Then the realization came that I am no longer a performer, or an actor. That life was left far behind, and thank goodness. The performance that I gave on Friday was no act. It was the realist thing I've ever done, and no theatre critique will be able to tear it apart. The truth is, I am glad that I had the chance to experience the life of a struggling actor, but I am even more grateful that it led me down a new path.
I am no longer on a mission to entertain. I am on a mission to inspire.
If just one mom or dad listening to my show felt like a good parent in that hour, or decided to go for that second child, I did my job. If one person was inspired to use the OMM directory to search for a product or service and give their hard earned dollars to a family, then I succeeded in what I set out to do.
When I think about that young girl 13 years ago who believed her special purpose in life was to be a television star on a situation comedy, and what that little girl didn't know, I can't help but smile. That young and naive girl never would have aspired for where she would ultimately land. But she also had no way of knowing the amount of happiness and joy that would fill her life, and the passion that she would embody to create a better world for families everywhere, ten times greater than the passion to see her name on her own dressing room door.
I am grateful for this new path, and the unexpected turns up ahead in my journey.
Ally Loprete is a stay-at-home mother of 2 boys, a former television, theatre and film actress, singer, performer, storyteller, and teacher. An advocate of parents, Ally founded OurMilkMoney.com, an online business directory of self-employed parents and an organization dedicated to helping parents find financial opportunities and support. She is also the host of This Little Parent Stayed Home weekly radio show available on Toginet.com, and the playwright & performer for her one-woman show about the journey of dealing with unexpected drama in life, Chasing Ally.
Ally’s passion to help others transitioned from full time working parent to successful entrepreneur has grown from her own experiences. She is determined to help other’s deal with the sometimes overwhelming prospect of starting a new business while still running a household, and is resolute about creating a haven in which we can continue to thrive and support each other in our personal journeys. Born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, Ally currently resides with her husband and her two little boys, Braden and Henry, in the beautiful suburbs of Stevenson Ranch, California, just north of Los Angeles.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
TUNE in to Our Radio Show Launch!
Donated by Teri Williams of The Bliss Network
“Discover how well you know yourself, with these perfect tools”
20 Wellness Meets Wealth Baskets!
A $50 Value!! Each basket includes the following:
Renew Intensive Skin Therapy
Clear Defense Moisturizing Hand Sanitizer
The Gold Bar, Citrus Scent
Breath-Away Mouth Rinse
Whitening Tooth Polish
Free Yearly Membership Offer
Donated by: Lacy Robertson of Wellness Meets Wealth
“A Better You, Better Home, Better Planet”
Easy Lunch Box and Lunch Bag!
All materials are safe and non-toxic for food storage at home or on the road.
Donated by Kelly Lester of EasyLunchBoxes.com
“The new EasyLunchbox system that helps families organize and quickly pack healthy lunches without wasting money, time, paper or plastic.”
3 Jewelry Sets
Donated by ZarStarDesigns.com
All sets are Sterling Silver and Swavorski Crystals, Bracelets, Necklaces and Earrings.
“All pieces handmade with love and positive energy.”
17 Bluetooth Device Cases!
A total retail value of $150!
Classic Collection Cases, Universal Cases, Everyday Cases and Active Collection Cases!
Donated by: Danny T. Villar of SmileyCases.com and GotBlueToothCase.com
“Our custom BLUETOOTH CARRYING CASES have been designed specifically to Secure and PROTEC your BlueTooth Device.”
3 Books entitled
“To create self-reliant, financially successful teens by teaching them how to build a business that generates income, educate them with the management, saving and investing of that money wisely, which gifts them with the invaluable foundation for a prosperous and peaceful future.”
The SOCBOX Software
Donated By: Karen Kanesfsky of SendOutCards.com
A software that allows you to have an online account where you can choose from 15,000 greeting cards or make your own by uploading images.
SendOutCards prints it, stuffs it and mails it, all for less than a greeting card at the store.
2 Sets of 250 Business Cards!
Prints double sided, and Color and ships all over the USA
Donated by: Tanya McCormick of Little Bug Advertising and Distribution (can be found on the OMM Directory under Los Angeles)
4 Ultimate Body Detox Wraps!
Donated by: Darlene Gomez of IT WORKS!
Each wrap retails for about $30.00 online or $65 - $115.00 in a spa
GRAND PRIZE
1 Giant but Elegant Gift Basket!
Donated by Julianne Alvarez-Wish of TheWishPlace.com and Buy By Mom
Basket includes:
A Peach Embroidered Eco-Friendly Journal
A set of 8 Truly Happy Willy Wonka note cards and envelopes set in pink and brown
A World of Good Pink Silk Lipstick Case
A World of Good Pink Silk Organza Scarf
A Pink Cloisonné Bead Bracelet
A Pink Quartz Point Pendant on Sterling Silver Necklace
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