The Only Way Out of It - Is Through It

by Judith Cassis

Even with all the benefits to you and your family, making the choice to come home after working a job will be HUGE. It's not unusual for our identities to be wrapped up in what we do. When that changes, it can take a minute to recover. Be patient with yourself through these changes. Acknowledge your loss and have compassion for yourself.

Change and loss come in many forms. For instance, we all know what it feels like to lose friends. Relationships have ended for each of us. A job or career is a form of relationship. The pain we feel from these losses corresponds directly with the depth of our investment of emotion. The greater our love, the deeper our pain. Remember the quote, “It’s a far better thing to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” It’s true. Really. Even when it comes to your job or career.

When it comes to moving through changes, there’s no way around it. The only way out of it is through it, and going through it is what change is all about. We heal the past and discover the future. We learn compassion. We experience forgiveness; of those we believe have transgressed, of life for bringing change in the first place and most of all, of ourselves. And self forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door to a deeper experience of life. Are you ready to step over the threshold?

Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I'll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.

Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as "The Bounce-Back Coach", she works with people who are "bouncing back" from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.

It's Okay for Kids to Play in the Living Room

by Judith Cassis

Do you work from home? Would you like to? More and more people are moving home to work, and I couldn’t be happier for them! Although the circumstances around these situations aren’t always the best; lost jobs for instance, I firmly believe that at least for women, families are much happier in the long run. Even if it means sacrificing a playroom for a home office, kids will have a better life with Mama close at hand. Trust me, it doesn't take long to get used to picking up toys off the living room floor every night. Think of it as exercise. Back straight, bend, squat, up and again...2,3,4.

I went back to finish college when my firstborn was 3 months old. (Insert sound of heart wrenching). A couple of years later, after waiting tables for a full year while trying to launch my business, I was finally able to chuck my apron, pack my brief case and come home. I'm still working from home 25 years later. (Check my notes on face book for the whole story).

There were a couple of stints over those two and a half decades that I tried to - brace yourself, I’m about to say it – work a job. There. Whew! I got it out. Those experiences lasted about 6 months each and were truly wonderful in many ways, but honestly, I couldn’t wait to get back home. Besides, I was still running my home-based business so my work load was heavy.

Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I'll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.

Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as "The Bounce-Back Coach", she works with people who are "bouncing back" from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.

Mom, I'm So Glad You Worked From Home

by Judith Cassis

Many of us believe we have no choice but to work full time jobs for someone else. True for a few, but many of us do have a choice. Hold on - don't let that statement ruffle your feathers. I didn’t say it would be easy, but whether for ourselves or someone else, working from home is doable. It’s a commitment we CAN make, even an inch at a time, when we step into our passion and make the right choices. We may have to give up a few things or put them off until later in life, but please take it from one who now looks back in gratitude for the choices I made when my children were young; I trust you'll see it will have been worthwhile. All of it!

Recently, my 19 year old son came up and gave me a hug and said, “Mom, I’m so glad you worked from home when I was young.”

Wow. I didn’t think he would have the maturity to reflect on that until he had his own kids, if ever.

After I got over my shock, I asked him what he meant. He told me a few things I’ll never forget; things that warmed my heart. He said he was grateful our family was so close and that he felt comfortable talking to my husband and me about his life. I credit this in a big way to the time we all spent together running our family business from home.

Are you contemplating a change of lifestyle? Would you like support? Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I'll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama Come Home! teleclasses.

Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as "The Bounce-Back Coach", she works with people who are "bouncing back" from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.

Welcome Home, Mama!

By Judith Cassis

Having been self employed for most of my life and at the same time raising my kids I get a lot of questions asking how I managed to work from home without compromising my family. Well, I did it for 25 years, and I’m happy to tell the story. Why? Because I believe that it's more important than ever for moms to come home.
Our kids are raising themselves and they need us! We blame the economy, inflation or the need for two incomes for taking us away from our children. But if we place our highest value on those little gremlins we bring into the world instead on the lifestyle we want to live, often times we can change course and create/supplement our income while staying at home with our kids.

I’m committed to supporting you, whatever your choice. Work at home part time, full time – whatever! When you decide to take the leap, I’ll be here. I won’t have all the answers, but I promise I’ll help look for them. Please email me privately at successmadesimple.jc@gmail.com and I'll sign you up for Two Months FREE Membership to my monthly Mama, Come Home! teleclasses.  



Judith Cassis,C.Ht. is a Personal Development Consultant with 26 years experience. Known as "The Bounce-Back Coach", she works with people who are "bouncing back" from failure, loss or tragedy. Judith is co-owner of a small newspaper,Tidbits of Santa Clarita Valley, www.tidbitsscv.com  a family business she and her husband, Lee Cadena run with their sons. Through a monthly teleseries, Mama Come Home, Judith supports mothers in staying home or returning home to raise their children.

You too, Can Become a Work at Home Parent

If you are like most working parents, you'd prefer that your child not see a nanny, or the inside of a daycare, more than they see you. Well, here is some good news: becoming a self-employed parent is a possibility for everyone. Yes, even you. You are not alone in wanting more for children and parents everywhere are uniting together in support of a new movement that will increase your odds of work-at-home success. The Parent Entrepreneur community has grown exponentially over the last 5 years and it even comes with its own set of rules that will allow you to put family before your work. With meticulous planning, lowered expectations and a positive outlook you too can transition to becoming a work-at-home parent.

Many corporations are already on board with this new movement and are accepting more proposals to telecommute than ever before. For a basic telecommute proposal template to get you started visit: http://www.ourmilkmoney.com/resources .

You must be willing to make sacrifices. Quitting your job will most likely result in making major budget cuts and the need to make up for that lost income. Offer your skills in exchange for payment or barter, and be prepared to work a lot more for a lot less. Never take your eye off the prize: precious time with your children is priceless.

Self-employed Parent Enthusiast Ally Loprete is the Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, a nationwide online business directory of self-employed parents, and the host of This Little Parent Stayed Home, a live weekly radio show which is part of the Her Insight Group on Toginet.com. Ally is on a mission to help others deal with the sometimes overwhelming prospect of leaving a full time job to start a new business, while running a full time household and raising kids. She is resolute about creating a haven in which parents across the nation will continue to thrive and obtain the support they need in their personal journeys.

How to Tighten Your Wallet and Enjoy Your New Lifestyle

So, you've decided to become a full time stay-at-home parent. Re-evaluating your budget is one of the hardest first steps to letting go of that second income because it means you are going to have to let some things go. First, realize that just because you have to cut down on some indulgences does not mean you are living in poverty. You will survive. Start by taking a look at your credit card statements, your cell phone bills and your other spending habits. This will give you some clues where to cut first. Lower your cell phone plan minutes, brew your own coffee, use the library to borrow books and videos. Consider how often you use your gym membership and if your physical activity can be replaced by taking the kids for a walk or joining a weekly stroller strides group. Start a 'swap' group in your community and rotate things like videos, toys and books. Instead of meeting friends out for drinks, which now includes the price of a babysitter, invite them over for game night. Let go of your season tickets and watch the games on TV for free, or check your local listings for community events such as free concerts in the park. Most likely, you will begin to enjoy the creative activities that you are able to come up with as a family. On the rare occasion that you are able to hire a sitter and get out with your grown-up friends, it will mean more to you than it ever did before.

Self-employed Parent Enthusiast Ally Loprete is the Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, a nationwide online business directory of self-employed parents, and the host of This Little Parent Stayed Home, a live weekly radio show which is a part of the Her Insight Group on Toginet.com. Ally is on a mission to help others deal with the sometimes overwhelming prospect of leaving a full time job to start a new business, while running a full time household and raising kids. She is resolute about creating a haven in which parents across the nation will continue to thrive and obtain the support they need in their personal journeys.

Work/Life Balance Part II - All About YOU!

By Julianne Alvarez-Wish

As parents, we often put everything and everyone else's priorities above our own. Our 'to-do' list grows daily and anything personal on that list either perpetually moves down or falls off all together never to be seen again.

It is extremely important to remember to make some time for yourself - a little bit each day or maybe once or twice per week. Do something that is just for you - whether it be pampering, reading, taking a walk, taking a nap, listening to your favorite music, connecting with special friends, etc.

If you are not taking care of yourself - physically, emotionally, etc., then the people you love will suffer as will your business.

We all need to be in top form if we want to maximize what we do for our families and businesses.

Right now - take a few minutes and look at your schedule (yes, you should have one and that's another post entirely that is coming soon) and block out some time for YOU!

Here's to a happier, healthier, more productive YOU!

Julianne Alvarez-Wish is a military wife, mother, business owner, professional writer, blogger and legislative advocate. She is the Director of Communications for Our Milk Money, the Colorado State Leader for the National Association for Moms in Business and the owner of Buy By Mom and Buy By Mom Blog. Her passion, purpose and goal is to help parents work from home so they can be home with their children.

At-Home Dad: Mediocre Man

by Nathan Bright

During the course of this blog I’ve established I’m a stay-at-home parent. Although at-home parenting isn’t a new concept it is difficult for some people to imagine a man doing. I’m not complaining – I have a hard time erasing the conventional from my own brain (Johnny Carson is on at bed time, right?).

While trying to come up with a topic for this blog it hit me… I’m not that different. At all. From a woman, that is.

People want to get my perspective on being an at-home dad. They genuinely want to believe I make blow torch grilled cheese and mop the floor with my daughter’s pj’s while she’s inside.

The reality is far from glamorous. I, like any stay-at-home parent, wake blearily to a schedule full of diapers, cooking, cleaning, planning, playing, instructing, yelling (from me) and crying (me again). I don’t see how it’d be possible for someone to do it any differently. Who would have time to build an erector set sweeping machine when boogers are stuck in their kids’ hair (and the dog’s, although I don’t know how exactly). It takes every second of the day to accomplish stuff… in a standard, non-sensational way.

What I’m saying is that when asked for my perspective I can’t imagine it being too far off from what my female colleagues would say. If there are things to cook… I cook. Things to clean… I clean. I can say I’m rather quirky, so I do put a little flavor on my day to make it interesting. Next time you have your children for the day try communicating mostly with movie quotes. Here are a few to get you started:

Forrest Gump “Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream!” Used when giving child ice cream. Or asparagus – it just sounds better to call it ice cream. Kids love being fooled like that.

Taxi Driver “You talkin’ to me?” Use this phrase when child demands something of you without saying please. Or just recite random lines from “Taxi Driver” to telemarketers. It does wonders for your morale.

Fight Club Tyler Durden: “Did you know if you mixed equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?” There is no need to quote this other than to watch your two-year-old’s face try to figure out what the hell you just said.

Pulp Fiction Marsellus: “In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.”
Butch: “In the fifth, my ass goes down.” When appropriately modified to reflect time, this quote can work wonders for naps.

But I digress. Hey look, a job’s a job and you do what ya gotta do to make it all come together, whether male or female. Unfortunately, the only alluring side to what I do comes from my quirkiness, not my manliness.

Now it’s time to welcome my wife home from work with another movie quote I’m sure she’ll love. “Frankly my dear…”

Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com's The Daddy's Den, he writes and illustrates his own children's books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.

Is A Direct Sales Business Your Answer to Working from Home?

Most direct sales businesses cost relatively little, perhaps $100- or less for a “starter set” which may include marketing materials and full size products to demonstrate or show to potential customers. There are many people who will agonize about this $100- decision, talking themselves in and out of the business opportunity without ever committing to give the business a try.

If you are intrigued by the business, have uncovered no “red flags” and are still tossing back and forth about your decision, my suggestion would be to create your own “Pros” and “Cons” lists. A few minutes spent listing out all the reasons to start a business can eliminate weeks or longer of pain from indecision, help you to isolate emotional excuses and identify some of your fears that can block your success.

Some people may say, “You’ll never know unless you give it a try,” and I agree. However, why try something that you are not committed to giving an honest effort? You could be setting yourself up for failure.

All self-employed people will agree that there are no shortcuts in business and in order to make a business work, you need to work. Your success will truly depend on you so ask yourself, “Am I willing to work to make your business work?” If the answer is “Yes,” then go back through your two lists. Remember that fear, just like excitement, are emotions that can fade. So based on the facts, your “Pros” vs. “Cons” about the opportunity, which list wins?
If you like the products, can get excited about sharing the products with other people, your “Pros” outweigh your “Cons” and the company you are investigating has passed the “red flag” test, then perhaps you are ready to take the plunge into the world of self employment with a firm commitment for the direction you have chosen. OurMilkMoney.com, the nation’s #1 network for self-employed parents, will support you along every step of your new journey!

Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children, Mona has created a company, TINK INK Publishing, for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books and recently transitioned to a brand new direct sales organization, Ava Anderson Non-Toxic.

Is a direct sales business your answer to working from home?

Let’s say that you just heard about a great product offered by independent sales representatives from a direct sales organization. You think the opportunity sounds appealing but you have not been able to decide “yes” or “no” on whether to get started. It is very normal for people to wonder whether they can be successful at owning their own business, particularly if they did not grow up in an entrepreneurial environment. However, if you feel hesitant or pressured to get going, rather than jump right in, it may be a good idea to check out the business a little more.

Here are a few suggested areas for you to examine:

How marketable is the product? Is it something that people will need or want? Is the price fair and less than similar products available through stores and online? Is there something special or unique about the product that makes it different from the competition?

What are the start up costs? Does the business require a large investment? Is there something of value that you receive for the price?

Do you understand how you make money? Is there a fair commission on products sold? Are there requirements that you must meet in order earn commissions? How do the commissions work on team members? Is the marketing plan confusing or simple to understand?

If you have questions before you even begin, chances are they will linger if you decide to move forward with the business. Allow yourself the time to investigate the organization, make sure you have eliminated any doubts about the opportunity on the front end and, most importantly, remember that there is no such thing as a “get rich quick” business. If it sounds too good to be true, it just might not be true!

Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children, Mona has created a company for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books and recently transitioned to a brand new direct sales organization, Ava Anderson Non-Toxic.

www.tinkinkpublishing.com
www.avaandersonnontoxic.com/mona

There's a Monster in My House

by Nathan Bright

No there’s not. Monsters don’t exist. What does exist are newborn babies. The five-week old variety in my home, to be precise. The similarities between her and a monster are staggering.

For one, she’s scary. My two-year old is freaked out by the primal screams echoing through the house at any given time. I’m scared of what she’s capable of, seeing how she already inflicted bloody pain on my wife during birth. It took a team of nurses to clean up the mess. Just horrible.

Her eating habits mirror that of a monster. My wife, bless her soul, is breastfeeding. Although I’ve never actually seen a real monster eat, I’m pretty sure it would be similar (that is, if while ingesting food parasite-style, a monster tends to fart a lot).

She was born with a lot of hair. Monsters have hair.

My baby/monster eats other things, too. She transgresses the boundaries of physical space and can actually devour my time. It literally took me 3 hours one day just to pee. This is a basic function I previously enjoyed with much frivolity. NO MORE! The monster has taken my time to pee. Just horrible. Monsters are gross. Babies are grosser. By analyzing these two statements one can conclude, with philosophically sound logic, that I have a super monster. Liquids, solids and gases of all color have made their way out of her. It’s not enough to simply change a dirty diaper, but she will literally spray venom at you like that little dinosaur from Jurassic Park. Now don’t tell anyone I told you this, but last week *I can’t believe I’m going to share this* she almost pooped in my mouth a little. I won’t offer all the details, but let’s just say I was inspecting a diaper rash with slack-jawed curiosity when the worst nearly happened. If that doesn’t convince you she’s a monster, I don’t know what will. Just horrible.

She can’t talk. Some monsters have speech problems as well.

Have you ever seen the X-Men Wolverine movie where Hugh Jackman’s love interest can persuade people to do things just by touching them? My baby/monster has that power. Now she’s here and our family is complete my wife and I have been talking about surgical options for birth control. Surgical. Options. Prior to this the closest a knife would’ve come to my “area” was, well… never. Ever. Never ever. To summarize, my baby is an X-Men mutant who has influenced us to harm ourselves.

Weak neck. The blob had no neck.

The saving grace here is the Gremlins. Gizmo was a monster. My baby doesn’t like bright light. She isn’t fond of getting wet. But she is exceptionally cute and sweet, much like that loveable mogwai. She doesn’t get carried around in a backpack the way Gizmo did, but another contraption – the Bjorn – is arguably identical. Even though she terrorizes us we love her anyway. Oh, and one last thing. Never feed her after… wait, we ALWAYS feed her after midnight. Ahh, so that’s where the ugly monster comes from!

In conclusion, if you have a cute monster at your house you need only follow one rule: don’t feed them after midnight. That, and don’t look too closely at diaper rash with your mouth open. Just horrible.

Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com's The Daddy's Den, he writes and illustrates his own children's books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.

Is A Direct Sales Business Your Answer to Working from Home?

Chances are high that we have all known someone who has tried their hand at a work-at-home business through a direct sales company. Perhaps they were even successful at their venture and turned a part-time position into a full-time career, going beyond just earning extra money to creating a substantial fortune in commissions, cars, jewelry and trips. So how do you know if this journey is right for you? Over the next few weeks, we’ll be exploring the pros and cons of the direct sales industry, uncovering some red flags to look out for and helping you to decide if this is the best route for you and your family.

Let’s start with a few of the pros and in my opinion, there are many. First, a business is a business whether it comes out of a box (direct sales) or you create it from scratch. The only differences include lots of time and money! A direct sales business typically has a low entry fee, no experience is required and training is provided. Reputable companies offer a great product at a great price which can be significantly lower than competitors because through this form of sales, many of the overhead costs have been reduced. An entrepreneurial person can work a direct sales business from home in their spare time with low or no quotas and could be making money their very first month in business!

Mona Colwell is a work at home mom with 15 years of direct sales experience. In addition to raising her three children and maintaining a leadership position with her organization, Mona has created a company for her almost famous husband, Emerson, and his children’s books.

The 21st Century Guide To The Good Wife

By Chris Loprete

A 1955 edition of Housekeeper’s Monthly released a Good Wife’s Guide. Please look it up and read it. It’s priceless. Here are some examples on how to be a good wife when your husband comes home.

• Prepare yourself. Put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking
• Remember he is the master of the house. Don’t question him
• Try to encourage the children to be quiet
• Don’t greet him with complaints and problems
• Listen to him. His topics of conversation are more important than yours
• Try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his real need to be at home and relax
• A good wife always knows her place

And that barely scratches the surface. Now I know what you’re thinking. “Why oh why wasn’t I a husband in the 50’s?” No? Oh. That’s just me then. But even a Neanderthal like me sees how these “rules” simply don’t apply today. First of all, who says the “wife” is the one at home? I know several “House Husbands” and none of them put a ribbon in their hair before their wife comes home from work. They usually wait until the weekend. Also “his real need to be at home and relax” somehow indicates that the stay at home parent has been relaxing all day. A very reliable source has assured me that that is not the case. So with all of this in mind, I have composed a counter guide. I call it:

The Guide to the One Who Works Outside the Home

• Prepare yourself. You may be home from work, but you’re not done working yet
• Master of the House? You haven’t been home for 8 hours with whiny kids while trying to run a home based business. You’re not the master of anything
• Try to encourage the kids to be quiet (okay this is sound advice even in the 50’s. I think we can all agree on that)
• You’ve both got complaints and problems. Vent to each other and don’t play the “My day is tougher than your day” game. You’re both right. And wrong. Either way nobody wins
• Listen to each other. I’m sure you both have good topics of conversation. You may want to include the kids too. Check that. If you’re trying to talk to your spouse, the kids will include themselves…very…very loudly
• You both have a world of strain and pressure and a real need to relax. The sooner you help each other, the sooner you can both do just that
• A good wife does always know her place. So does a good husband. It happens to be the same place. Home. Be a team.

Inclusion Delusion

By Nathan Bright

The first egg goes in beautifully. No trace of shell in the mixture at all. With my speed being matched only by artistry, I blister through the kitchen confident of a timely meal that will lead into clean-up, followed by coats, then a punctual appearance to a friend's house.

"I help," says my two year old.

Her words resonate like a movie moment demonstrating fear and confusion. "Of course you will sweetie," I say. the Dad in me knows to include her in anything I can. It builds skill, confidence, and a bond between parent and child. However, the Me in me obsesses on the clock. She'll slow me down. Dinner will be late. We'll rush out the door and be tardy, again, to our function. Again.

I let her help. Eggs explode, raw meat almost in mouth, hair stuck to counter, falls off stool, cries, help stir, help wipe floor, help stir more, wipe floor more and dear-heaven-has-the-oven-been-preheating-for-an-hour-how-much-is-the-gas-bill-going-to-be?

This scenario plays out quite often. Patience in letting them help is par for the course. By letting them help we know it'll be more work for us, but they need the experience anyway. But how does this translate into other areas?

I'm a stay-at-home-dad (by choice). Our numbers are growing. Just like any non-traditional movement there's a stigma over which we'd like to hop. The "Mr. Mom" syndrome, if you will, such as the bumbling man guy who fashions duct tape into cereal bowls. As amazing as duct tape cereal bowls would be (and completely doable!) us stay-at-home-dads don't want to be pigeon-holed into being thought of as bumbling.

I know I'm great at cooking, cleaning, kid activities, multitasking, etc., but what do others think of me? My fear is I'm viewed as the two-year old and my wife is the adult. It's thought that she lets me help only to secretly clean up my mess afterward. These situations demonstrate what would come out of a child's mouth and what folks would presume comes out of the stay-at-home-dad's mouth:

Situation: Sweeping the Floor
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "let me walk through this pile of dirt first."
Bumbling Dad says: "I'll get the leaf blower."

Situation: Laundry
Adult Figure and/or Wife Asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "I can fit 4 bras on my head."
Bumbling Dad says: "I can fit 6 bras on my head."

Situation: Grocery Shopping
Adult Figure and/or Wife asks: "want to help?"
Two Year Old says: "take me to the toys or I'll cry."
Bumbling Dad says: "take me to the beer or I'll cry. Did you know I can fit 6 bras on my head?"

Point being - I'm not bumbling. I'm not merely included...I'm autonomous, much the way my two-year-old soon will be. I run an excellent home for the benefit of my family. My wife trust me to be productive and make good decisions. Now if you'll excuse me I need to look into that duct tape thing. And maybe fold bras.

Nathan Bright is a 30-something stay-at-home dad who resides near St. Louis, MO. He is a husband to an amazing woman and father to a doubly amazing 2 year old little girl. His blessed home is scheduled to be even more blessed in March, as Nathan and his wife will welcome a second daughter to their family. When Nathan is not blogging for OurMilkMoney.com's The Daddy's Den, he writes and illustrates his own children's books. Available for purchase immediately is Maddi Patti and her Stay-at-Home-Daddy.

How to Create the Perfect Schedule, and Make it Work for You

Written by Ally Loprete

The thought of actually sitting down and scheduling some lazy "do absolutely nothing" time probably seems very stupid as well as a waste of time. Entrepreneurs, especially parents who are constantly on the go between their company and their families, really need to schedule some time to where they just sit back, relax and decompress.

When you are constantly on the go and running all over the place, attempting to work 7 days a week, in between playdates, naps, mealtime, laundry and grocery shopping, not only do you get overly exhausted by the 4th week, you run the risk of beginning to resent your company, the company that you started out loving. You may even begin to resent your children, the ones who you fell so madly in love with, you decided to work from home to be closer to them. Both responsibilites will soon seem like a ball and chain that you can't get away from. This is not why you decided to work from home.

A written schedule can fix all of your problems. This is something that you should do every day of the week, whether you schedule your down time for the Saturday and Sunday weekend, take Monday off of work, take an extra long weekend, or just cut out of work early on one day a week. Your job as a parent continues all week long, so it’s important to account for ALL of your time.

1. Schedule in Realistic times to work, remaining flexible. For me, I am able to work Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons when my oldest son is at preschool and my youngest in napping. Every once in awhile my schedule is blown by an early riser, but it’s a time I can count on for the most part. I can also work for a few hours in the evening when my husband comes home, and Sunday nights when the weekend festivities are over and my husband can take over.

2. Make a list of weekly tasks and dedicate a day to each task. Mondays are for blogging and posting, Wednesdays are for social networking, Fridays are for PR. Evenings are for responding to emails and getting organized for the following day.Weekends are for catching up, but never more than 5 hours in a single weekend.

3. Schedule in “Mommy” or “Daddy” time. I had made a promise to myself and both my sons that each morning until lunchtime I would not work at all. I could schedule playtime, take them to a park, arrange a playdate, or even do some mommy chores, but my laptop was to remain closed. I also used this time to do mommy chores such as go grocery shopping or folding laundry. Because I was able to find ways to include them in these mindless tasks, they did not appear to resent this time as it did not seem like “work” to them.

4. Schedule in time for you. Just as the body needs food to stay nourished and sleep to stay refreshed, taking time to relax and clear your mind will work wonders for your health and your productivity.

5. Schedule time with friends and family. Date night with your spouse, with another couple, game night with neighbors, a visit with relatives, or out with your friends for a social gathering. It’s as important to your sanity as a good night’s sleep. Commit to 1-2 nights a month, if that is all you can squeeze in, but make that minimum a priority. It should give you just enough of a break from your work that you can go back with the same appreciation for your company that you started out having.

Increase Your Productivity As a Self-Employed Parent

Written by Ally Loprete

Working at home: it seemed like such a good idea at the time. You believed that it would give you more time with your children, the freedom to work in your pajamas, a limitless income possibility, and the ability to create your own schedule, own rules, own pace. For many, this is a dream that turns into reality.

It is said that once you work for yourself, you will never be able to go back to working for someone else. For many, working at home is freedom, but still for some, it is easy to let the work consume you every moment you are awake, and probably while you sleep as well.

It is important to remember that you are still in control, and that you need to enjoy all of the perks that come with being self-employed, as long as you remember to grant yourself those perks, just as you promised yourself you would when you “accepted the job” to work for you. If you are not given the perks that were originially promised, it’s only natural that you will lackluster your productivity, and eventually grow weary and lose inspiration.

Here are some tips to help you increase your work-at-home productivity:

1. Create atypical work hours. As parents who are self-employed, we have 2 jobs, and getting up from the computer to pour your 2 year old more milk will always be more important than responding to an email, or posting a blog. You may have grown more patient as a parent, but interruptions like these can be daunting. Save your most crucial, concentrated work for the evening when your spouse is home from work, and has agreed to let you lock yourself into a quiet room without interruptions. For me, this time is from 7:30pm-10pm during the week. You’d be surprised how much you can get done in 2 ½ hours.

2. Create an end time to each day, and “clock out.” It may be difficult to cease working when the house is exceptionally quiet for once, and you are finally feeling productive, but don’t get lost in the moment. Find a good stopping point, pat yourself on the back for a job well done and step away from the computer. My clock out time is 10:00pm

3. Schedule in some rest and relaxation time each night before going to sleep. For me, I give myself an hour to do anything I want, but work. You may choose to watch TV, read a book, or do a crossword puzzle.

4. Invest in some kind of technology. Depending on the way you look at it, this could be the greatest thing toward making you more productive, or it could cause you to become confused between work time and family time. It may be an iphone, blackberry or another PDA, but in a world where productive mothers love to multi-task, the technology that has presented itself in the last decade has made it possible for us to do it all- within reason. If your iphone allows you to quickly answer an email while attending your son’s little league game, it’s worth it. But if it keeps you out of the moment and you’ve missed your son hitting the ball on more than one occasion, it’s time to go back to the drawing board, create a more productive schedule, and turn off the PDA during family time.

5. Trade your services. I don’t mean your business services. Create a co-op babysitting group with another parent. Self-employed parents are no longer a rarity, and chances are there are atleast 4 or 5 on your street who would be willing to watch your kid for a few hours one day in exchange for you watching theirs.

Surviving the Recession (Yes, It's Possible)

Written by Ally Loprete

I have a plan that I’d like to share with you -- because it involves YOU. Actually, it involves everybody. If everybody does their part, we not only have a chance of surviving the recession together, we have a chance of rebuilding our society into something spectacular.
First, let me ask you a question: When was the last time you were given amazing customer service? I don’t mean service that simply gave you what you paid for and did it with a smile and a bonus “have a nice day.” I mean the kind of service that throws out the rules of business and treats you like someone of value and an individual with needs different than the last customer’s needs. Not a one-size-fit all approach that we've come to know as the norm.
Is good old fashion customer service so far a thing of the past that the majority of this generation never really knew what it was to begin with? Have we gotten so used to the automated systems and virtual relationships that nothing is genuine anymore?
I DON’T THINK SO.
I am not complaining. I am proud of where we are... although I wasn’t at first. I was more skeptical and angrier than most. I don’t mean to harp on the big businesses -- after all they are run by people who have needs just as you and I do. But very often in big business we are unable to speak to real people who are able to meet our needs as their customers. Big business has become a large robot not programmed to care about our feelings, sensitivities, and real human experience. We grew up being told that everyone is special, but big business has taught us that everyone is exactly the same and that extraordinary needs are not tolerated -- or, at least, the robot is not programmed to understand them.
However, the good news is that recently I’ve seen a shift in that energy. People are needing to connect on a more human level. True we are communicating through text messages, emails, and blogs (ahem), but we are still connecting. And in some ways there is more of a connection because we all have access to one another on a level much greater than ever before: The Internet.
The Wonderful World of Web is a really good thing! So good that, if we read between the lines, we will see our unlimited potential and how capable we are of getting back to that sense of good old fashion customer service mentality.
Since we are able to shop and do business online, we can now choose from literally millions of companies to work with. If we don’t like their service, we can go elsewhere, just as easily. It’s not like we have to drive over to the next town because we didn’t like the clerk at the grocery store. We can buy from just about anyone we want.

Do you realize how much power this gives us?
It means the big businesses are losing us and, actually, the loss that big corporations have already suffered is a primary contribution to the recession we are in right now.
But that’s OK. It’s all part of how society rebuilds itself. Sometimes you have to take a step back before you can go forward.
So, if we see the recession as a not-so-bad thing, we can use it to our advantage. Are you with me?
What this means is that smaller businesses, for the first time in decades, have a fighting chance. And in case you haven’t noticed, small business is exploding.
They have something big businesses don’t have: a personal touch.
For those of you who don’t remember what it was like to have this so-called “good customer service,” don’t feel bad. I don’t know that I do either, but I’ve seen a lot of movies and I’ve listened to a lot of old people talk about what it was like in “their day.” I imagine it to be something like this:
People GAVE because they were in a position TO GIVE. I imagine there were some people who didn’t hold up their end of the bargain, but hey, it probably all evened out in the end. Some people call it Karma -- and Karma is a concept that has been around since the beginning of time.
So, there is your answer! Karma is the way that we are going to survive this recession.
You have something? Give. You need something? Take.
This recession is a way for the universe to clean the world up a bit, and rebuild the social order of our culture. You can’t have a rainbow without first having a storm.
This new (or should I say old fashioned) way of business is creeping into the general public more and more. And I am mighty impressed, I have to say.
Here is the best part: You can choose who to do business with, and if you choose to support the small business men and women in our society, I can pretty much guarantee that they will support you, and give you that personal touch which has been missing for the last 30 years.
P.S. You can find those men and women at http://www.ourmilkmoney.com/.

Ally Loprete is the Co-Founder of OurMilkMoney.com, an online directory of self-employed parents across the country. Ally's focus is to help expose parents working to create a better life for their families and her mission is to educate consumers on the value of purchasing from the small business owner. Ally is passionate about inspiring parents to connect with one another, and will often write about the brilliant ideas that seem to come to her only in the shower or while blowing her hair dry.

10 Steps to Becoming a Self-Employed Parent

(Or What to Expect When You Are Expecting to Work from Home)

Written by Ally Loprete

First, let me say that I realize that the title to this piece may seem a bit partial, and while I supposed that it probably is, my intention is not to be inequitable against those who don’t have children and wish to be self-employed. However, this article is not really about becoming a wealthy entrepreneur. It’s about earning legitimate revenue to contribute to the survival of your household while balancing parenthood.
If you are a parent looking to be self-employed, my guess is that you are willing to make sacrifices. You would like the option of spending the majority of the time that you are awake with your children, and would prefer that your child not see a nanny, or the inside of a daycare more than they see you. This is not about how you may or may not feel judged by society. It is about what you innately desire as a parent, which is not in the least bit selfish. It’s a parental instinct, and there should never be any shame in that.
You are not alone in wanting more for yourself and your children. If you are like most parents you would give up your job in a heart beat to stay home with your children, but you probably believe that you cannot afford to do so. Or maybe you have already decided to stay home with your children, but you promised your spouse you’d find a way to earn an income, and it has yet to happen. Maybe it’s harder than you thought, and the research that you’ve done online has given you an overload of work-at-home “schemes” that has succeeded only in information overload. Well, I am here to give you some good news: Becoming a self-employed parent is a possibility….yes…even for you.
It’s a scary leap to make, yes. But you are no slacker, and you are willing to work hard…if only you had some sort of inkling how to go about it, knew for sure that quitting your job to start over wouldn’t be the worst mistake you ever made in your life. If all that you are missing is some necessary information to help you make that leap, than you’ve come to the right place.
To be clear, this list will not make you self-employed, but it will open your eyes to the possibility. It requires is diligence, focus, and some risk.
Here is the truth about what to expect:

1. Stop looking online for the perfect work-at-home job. It doesn’t exist. There are a million companies that will tell you otherwise because they want you to buy into one of their programs, take their courses, or purchase a franchise. They promise all sorts of things, and make their programs sound really good…too good. Your instinct is to stay away from them, and there is a good reason for that. You know it can’t be that easy, and you don’t have the luxury of wasting any amount of time or money on something that won’t pan out in the end. Time and money are more precious now than ever. The key here is to find a legitimate way to bring in an income….it may not be a substantial amount, but it will be enough to contribute to the survival of your family while you are staying at home.
2. Multi-level marketing opportunities are not scams, but recognize them for what they are before investing in one. There are millions of people who have found success in MLMs, and if they help to provide an income for a family, terrific! We support them, and we do not judge. However, don’t jump into the business of one without realizing what it is going to take to be successful. If your business relies solely on recruiting your family and friends, they may start to feel the need to avoid you because they are afraid of being “sold.” Unless you come from a sales background and you are already surrounded by a supportive network of family and friends who has no problem buying all of your MLM products, this may not be the best choice for you and your family. If you DO choose to go this route, don’t blame your relatives for not investing in your products. It’s not fair to them, nor is it their responsibility to grow your business.
3. Realize that you already have what it takes to become self-employed. You don’t need to invent a new product, or come up with a new concept that has never been tried before. You have skills and the ability to do exactly what it is you have already been
   doing. You don’t have to have a business degree to be a CEO, you just have to know how to offer a service. The question you need to ask yourself is this: “What am I currently doing for someone else that I can be doing for myself?” You are skilled at something. Accounting, marketing, graphic design, administrative support, dog grooming, hair cutting…Just to be clear, this is not a question of what you’ve always wanted to do, it’s what you are ALREADY doing. Chances are, you know how to do it well, and you know what it takes to keep doing it. Remember that this is a REALISTC approach to becoming self-employed. This is most likely NOT going to make you millions. It is simply going to allow you to survive doing exactly what you want to do- earn a bit of revenue while raising your children.
4. Take a look at your finances. Don’t just ponder it for a moment and try to add up things in your head. Really, take out a piece of paper and write out what you are currently spending on things, paying special attention to the categories that will shrink once you are working from home: business attire, dry-cleaning, gas mileage and car maintenance, car insurance (yes, it will go down if you no longer have a long commute each day), daily lunches eaten out, daycare, etc…) Don’t judge the situation just yet, just do the task. You can also take into account that if your spouse becomes the sole provider, The family will get a significant tax reduction. Letting go of your stable paycheck will be the scariest thing of all, but if being at home is truly where you want to be, you'll be able to make the sacrifice.
5. Make some cuts. This is one of the hardest first steps to becoming a self-employed parent, because it means you are going to let some things go. First, realize that just because you have to cut down on some indulgences does not mean that you are living in poverty. You will survive. Look at your credit card statements, your cell phone bills, your other spending habits. Lower your cell phone plan minutes, brew your own coffee, use the library to borrow books and videos. Consider how often you use your gym membership and if your physical activity can be replaced by taking the kids for a walk, or joining a weekly stroller strides group. You will not be seeing as many movies, so invest in a video service such as Netflix, which is significantly less expensive. Instead of meeting friends out for drinks, (which has suddenly become even MORE costly from the need to hire a babysitter) invite them over for a game night. Let go of your season tickets and watch the games on TV for free, or check your local listings for community events such as free concerts in the park. You must learn to change your lifestyle a bit, but now that you have become a parent, your life has already changed and you may have found that you have said goodbye to a lot of these luxuries anyway. It won’t be long before you may actually prefer a night in with the kids and an animated video. Most likely, you will begin to enjoy the creative activities that you are able to come up with as a family. On the rare occasion that you are able to hire a sitter and get out with your grown-up friends, it will mean more to you than it ever did before.
6. Start with the basics. Make a list of the things you need in order to offer your service- even just on a limited basis. Hold off on hiring that webdesigner for just a bit, and ordering those businesses cards. Start with the basic tools you need to be able to provide your service. You may find that you already have much of what you need. If not, then make a small investment in these basic tools. This is a lot more cost effective than purchasing a franchise, or renting an office space. You can always upgrade later, as your business grows. Once you become self-employed, you will be your own boss, and that means you will be able to create your own rules. You can charge less that your competitors, because you will be working out of your home, and your overhead will be absorbed into what you are already paying for rent. You can choose your own hours, and re-arrange your schedule around naps, playdates, or your spouses work schedule. Remember to get creative. You are the boss, so you call the shots. For example, if you are a hairstylist, you can offer to go to you clients home. This will circumvent paying rent at a salon so you will be able to charge less than your competitors (which your clients will appreciate). You may even be able to bring your kids with you to play with your client’s kids- a playdate while you work! It's a win-win.
7. Start slow. Offer your services for free to family and friends- just in the beginning. This will help you build up a client base, as well as give you a chance to get the hang of things without the added pressure of being perfect. Send out an email to friends and family telling them of the service that you are offering, and tell them that you are willing to waive your fees just so you can gain a bit of necessary experience. In exchange, you may ask for them to support you in another way such as contributing to an email campaign, or watching your kids for a few hours a month. If you have never done anything like this before, give yourself room to grow, and don’t be so hard on yourself if you mess up. You will learn from the mistakes that you make, and this will make you a better entrepreneur.
8. Barter your services. This is a great way to minimize those start-up costs that you were worried about. It’s also a great way to network, and get testimonials, not to mention gain experience in your chosen field.
9. Use the internet and become a master of online research. You can get just about anything you need to start your business for free. Basic websites, templates, voicemail boxes, advertising opportunities, legal advice, newsletter services, even business cards. Some services are free for only a certain amount of time, so take advantage while you can. Check out the OurMilkMoney.com Resource Page for a list of services that are free or minimal. Talk to other parents and ask them about the resources that they use. Everything else can be bartered - especially with other self-employed parents- and that is who you want to be supporting from now on, anyway. It’s good karma. Trust me, it always comes back to you.
10. You are not in this alone. There are currently more than 5 million work-at-home parents and that number grows every single day. These are not your competitors, this is a large support network of people, who are just like you. They need you just as much as you need them. Reach out, ask for help, and be ready to listen and learn. There is an abundance of information out there at your finger tips FOR FREE. This can sometimes feel like information overload, but it can provide you with exactly what you are looking for the moment that you need it.
    
    Remember to pat yourself on the back often. As your own boss, you will need it. Rome was not built in a day. Earning a revenue will take time, so expect to struggle for a few months. Even the most successful businesses take time to become profitable. Finances will be tight, and it may seem like you are working twice as hard for less reward. But keep your eye on the prize, and trust that you are as good as anyone else who has chosen to work from home. Your greatest reward may not be the income, but the abundance of time you can now afford to have with your children, and being able to call the shots in your own life.